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The Feelings We Carry in the Body

Why we hold feelings in, where we tend to feel them, and gentle ways to let them soften.

Many of us were raised to keep our feelings tidy. Don’t cry. Don’t make a fuss. Be the strong one. So we learned to swallow anger, set sadness aside and carry on.

Holding feelings in is a way of coping. It helps us get through hard moments, and sometimes it is exactly what we need. When it becomes a lifelong habit, though, those feelings don’t simply disappear. They wait.

Where feelings live

Think about the last time you felt worried. Perhaps your shoulders crept up toward your ears. Perhaps your breath grew shallow, or your stomach felt tight. We feel our feelings in the body as well as in our thoughts.

Many traditions describe a person as a whole: body, heart, mind and spirit, woven together. Imagine yourself as a fine tapestry. Stress, grief and old hurts can feel like knots in the threads. In Reiki and other energy traditions, these knots are spoken of as blocks in the flow of life energy. Whether or not you share that view, many women recognize the feeling of something held tight that wants to loosen.

Why we hold on

We usually hold feelings in for good reasons. It may not have been safe to speak up. There may have been no one to listen. Perhaps we were too busy caring for everyone else. Many of us, by our middle and later years, have spent decades putting other people first.

These are old patterns. They protected us once. Noticing them with kindness is the first step to letting them soften.

Gentle ways to let feelings move

• Quiet sitting. A few minutes of stillness, paying attention to your breath, can help hidden feelings rise to where you can see them.
• Writing. Keep a notebook nearby. Write about something that has been bothering you, such as a time you felt unheard. Let the words come without editing.
• Talking it through. A counselor or therapist offers a safe, private place to say what you have kept inside. There is real strength in asking for this kind of support.
• Calming practices. Many people find that Reiki, gentle yoga or meditation helps them feel more settled and at ease.

In the chakra tradition from India, the body is said to have seven energy centers, each linked with a color and a sound. Some people enjoy picturing these colors or chanting a simple mantra as part of their meditation. You can treat this as a doorway into stillness and follow whatever feels right for you.

A small practice for today

Sit comfortably and close your eyes. Take three slow breaths. Now gently move your attention through your body, from the top of your head down to your feet. Notice any place that feels tight, heavy or held.

When you find one, rest a hand there if you can. Breathe toward that place. Silently ask, “What are you holding for me?” You don’t need an answer. Just listen. If a feeling comes, let it be there. You might say to it, “I see you. You are welcome here.”

When you are ready, take one more deep breath and open your eyes. Notice how you feel. Even a small softening counts.

Feelings are messengers

Our feelings carry information. Anger may tell us that a boundary was crossed. Sadness may tell us that something mattered. Fear may be asking us to slow down and take care. When we stop pushing feelings away, we can begin to hear what they are saying.

This is part of coming home to yourself. You make room for all of you, including the parts that were once told to be quiet.

Please remember that the practices here are meant to be calming and supportive. They are complementary to medical and psychological care and are not a substitute for it. If you notice physical symptoms, or feelings that are hard to manage, please talk with your doctor or a counselor.

If you would like gentle company as held feelings begin to soften, I offer one-on-one energy healing sessions and self-love coaching online.